Finale
by Ms. Mimi Elphie-Amy
Summary: This is a short RENT story containing what I think was going through Mimi's, Roger's, and MoJo's minds the night when Mimi had a brush with death... Reviews PLEASE! and this is not for the faint of heart...INCLUDING WHEN MIMI SAW ANGEL! COMPLETE!
1. Mimi's horrible pain

**Hi! I've been obsessed with**_** RENT**_** for a couple of days, and I couldn't help but write a RENTfic. So, this is what I think happened when Mo and Jo found Mimi, and what Mimi was thinking before she was found. **

Disclaimer: I don't own RENT, even though I wish I did. 

**Author's note****: This takes place a couple of minutes before Mimi was found by MoJo.**

Mimi stared at the ground, shivering like crazy. God, it was so cold! Why was it so cold? _Well maybe it's because you're in the middle of a park Mimi! God, get up Mimi! Get warm! _The only part of herself that made sensetold Mimi. That part was screaming at her to get up, go back to her apartment, GET WARM!!! But the other part of Mimi was winning.

The part wanted Mimi to stay at the park and die. The part that was...empty...numb...Mimi could barely feel anything at all. Not the agonizing cold, not the cursed drugs going through her system...she couldn't even feel the pain of Roger leaving her.

Almost.

The part of her that was _awake_ reminded her of him every second of the day.

_Roger left you..._

_Roger left you because he doesn't care anymore..._

_Roger left you because you're a skinny little whore!_

The awake part wasn't always friendly. The only nice things it said was, _Roger left you, thinking you're weak. Show him you're strong. Get back home so you can show him you're not weak._ But Mimi didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. Roger left, so there was no point. Angel was gone, and Mimi wanted to join her wherever she was.

Mimi started to breathe raggedly, and didn't even bother to try to calm down. Who cared? No one, not even herself. Her ragged breathing let to coughing, and a homeless man a couple meters from her looked over.

But he didn't come over, oh no he did not. Why bother with the little junkie of a girl? Mimi never planned on going back to drugs; in fact even though Roger was leaving she wanted to stay clean. But she didn't count on the pain that followed Roger's departure. It started in her heart, and made its way through her body. It affected both her mind and body. At the rehab, she found herself sicker than ever, and the Doctors thought the pain was just the affects of withdrawal.

How wrong they were.

She tried to talk to someone; the Doctors, her friends, even Angel, who Mimi was sure was watching over her. But no one seemed to care. So she decided to leave. Hopefully die, so she can just blame the death on the cold or lack of food. She didn't want to be another April...she'd be _weak_ then.

She didn't want to be weak.

It scared her more than anything else. God, Goddess, whoever, she just wanted to _die_. At first Mimi was scared of her own thoughts of dying, so Mimi turned to drugs. But soon after they lost their affect, and now when she injected the drug into her veins, it didn't really work. She'd weep the whole time the drugs were in her, Roger's face in her mind...

_You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees. _

_You don't want to watch me die  
I just came to say  
goodbye love; goodbye love_

_Came to say goodbye love, goodbye._

Mimi shuddered, remembering those last words she told him. God, why didn't she beg him to stay, promise him with all her heart that she wouldn't use again, and _keep _that promise? Mimi felt tears in her eyes. God, she had been so _stupid_. Why didn't stay away from The Man? Well, it wasn't really her fault;_ he_ had come up to her, and gave her the free drugs. She planned on throwing it away, but then Roger caught her. It also didn't help that he didn't bother to listen to her when she tried to explain.

But it was still _her_ fault...

_Her_ fault he left...

_Her fault!!_

Mimi started to sob, and she slowly felt herself falling. Her fault, her fault...She couldn't wait until death came to get her...

_Just came to say goodbye love,  
goodbye love, goodbye love, goodbye love_

_Hello disease..._

"Hello disease..."she sang softly, tears slowly cascading down her cheeks. Mimi knew the disease was going to kill her, but she honestly didn't care. Roger was gone Roger was gone Roger was gone Roger was gone

The tears were gone now, leaving a shallow emptiness. An emptiness Mimi almost couldn't stand. Mimi suddenly wished she had something sharp...no, not a needle, she had a week ago the drugs were not helping her, so there was no point in buying them. That was probably why she was so sick now...

She had picked up a new habit at the rehab, one even the doctors even knew about. Cutting. Mimi liked the feeling of all her sorrows just oozing out of her...what an awesome feeling it was! Cutting helped in ways that doctors couldn't even dream of!

Scars trailed down Mimi's arms because of the feeling. That was also another reason why she left the rehab...they were starting to get suspicious. She didn't want another reason to stay there. The first reason though was because she knew they weren't helping her..._no one _could help her other than her Roger. Her lovely Roger...

Mimi found herself coughing again, but this time when she pulled back her hand, it was smeared with blood. She whimpered...was the disease finally finishing its job? She found herself coughing again, but she didn't even bother to stop it. All she could think was _I'm dying_ _I'm dying I'm dying I'm dying I'm dying_

When she stopped again, she groaned and laid her head back. Wow, was it just her or was everything getting warmer? Warmer, warmer, warmer still...she felt giddy, happy even. She blinked against a sudden spell of dizziness, and she found herself lying down on the bench.

Was this it then? Was she dying?

The only time she felt this happy was when...

_Mimi started to giggle at Roger's kisses. It was 11:00 in the morning, but Roger and Mimi couldn't bring themselves to get up. They were too happy. This was the one morning that Mimi didn't feel _horrible_ because of withdrawal. She actually felt happy. Well who wouldn't? Mimi was in Roger's loving arms and the lover's were softly talking. Mimi giggled again as Roger left a trail of kisses from her shoulder to her ear. She was feeling total bliss...no, she felt high, but high on _love_. It was amazing, and it was something she never felt before._

_She knew now that she loved this man with all her heart, and that he loved her in return. It was amazing..."Ah!" Mimi squealed as he nibbled on her ear. "You like that pretty woman?" Roger asked seductively, and Mimi giggled, "Yes!" _

"_Good." He said, and turned her gently to face him. He started to kiss her passionately, and it was minutes before he pulled away. Mimi had a feeling that the only reason he pulled away was because they both needed air. For a few minutes, they both stared into each other's eyes, and they both couldn't find themselves able to pull away. Mimi was lost in Roger's ghostly green eyes and Roger was lost in Mimi's warm yet wise chocolate ones. "You're so beautiful."Roger said, finally breaking the silence. Love filled me, and I kissed him once again._

"Mimi! OH MY GOD!!!!! MIMI!!"


	2. Maureen and Jo save the day

**Hey people! This is the second part of that story. I might or might not add a fourth chapter. It depends on how next chapter goes. REMEMBER: REVIEWS ARE GOLDEN!!! So are messages! No flames please! If you have nothing nice to say, don't review at all! **

Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda....I don't own RENT 

J.L.: HA HA!!!

ME: *goes crying off in corner*

"POOKIE!!! C'mon baby! Let's head out. I wanna hit the streets, get DRUNK!" Maureen cried as she ran around. They were at the gates of one of the worst parks in town. It was a park that no one went to unless they were junkies, homeless, or prostitutes. Collins and Maureen had looked here a couple of days ago when they were searching for Mimi, but she wasn't here.

Despite the fact that they couldn't find her, they refused to believe that she was gone for good. Roger especially. He refused to believe she was gone for good. The whole group tried to keep up like he did and keep the bad thoughts at bay, but whenever they went out to look for her, one big question hung over them...

_Will we find her before it was too late?_

"Baby, stop that okay? We're in one of New York's craziest parks. The last thing we want is to draw attention to ourselves." Joanne said, slightly running after Maureen who was jumping around the park. Coffee was _such_ a bad idea. "LEAVE ME ALONE POOKIE!!! THESE PEOPLE WILL LIKE ME!!! WEE!!!" Maureen cried, spinning around. Yep,

Coffee was the _worst_ idea Joanna could've thought of.

"Baby! Stop!" Jo called out to her lover, now fully running after her. "Nope! Catch me first!" Maureen cried, running deeper and deeper into the park. Jo sighed, and then started to jog after Mo.

Man, could the girl _run!_

Why were they outside in the first place? Well, it was Christmas Eve, and they all decided to celebrate it together, even though two of the group couldn't join them. The two girls were on their way to the loft when Maureen suddenly got the urge for coffee. They stopped at the _Life_ and now...

Maureen was acting like a hyper chipmunk.

"Maur-(gasp)-reen! Stop (gasp) right (gasp) there!" Joanne called out in between gasps.

But the next thing she knew, Jo bumped into a dead still Maureen. "I didn't (gasp) mean it (gasp) literally." Jo said between gasps.

Maureen didn't say a word.

"What is it?" Jo asked, getting worried. When Mo was hyper, you could hardly get her to shut up. So why in the world was she not talking _at all_?

Maureen only pointed.

When Joanne followed Maureen's gaze, she gasped. What she saw before her was heartbreaking, and almost made her cry.

There was a woman.

The woman was lying on a bench, her wavy hair barely shining in the moonlight. She was limp, and there was no sign of life. There was blood at the corner of her mouth, and her eyes were closed. There was a slight smile on the person's lips, and her face was...._peaceful_. But what caught our two beloved character's eyes was what the woman was wearing around herself.

She was wearing a leopard print coat.

"Mimi." Joanne breathed. A moment later both woman ran towards the girl, who was cold to the touch. Joanne checked for her pulse while Maureen kneeled beside her.

"Mimi! OH MY GOD!!!!! MIMI!! " Maureen cried, "WAKE UP, WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!"

"She has a pulse, but a slow one." Joanna said, worry woven into her voice. "Should we take her to a hospital?" Maureen asked, looking at Jo for advice. Since Joanne was the smarter one in the relationship, she was always the one Mo turned to for guidance.

"I think we should-"

"No, please don't..."

Both of the women froze. Did Mimi just say something...? "Meems...Mimi? Can you hear me sweetie?" Maureen asked, looking at the girl in anticipation. Both the women sighed in relief when they saw Mimi's eyes flutter, and look right at them.

But the relief didn't last very long.

Both women could see the girl was dying, just from the way her eyes look. They were hazy, and focused on something neither of the women could see. Mimi's slightly peaceful face was now full of trouble lines, and she looked sort of upset. But the peaceful look somehow stayed with her through her eyes. Her eyes were of course hazy, but also peaceful at the same time. "Mimi? Oh God, are you okay honey?" Jo whispered, looking at Mimi with worried eyes. "Take...me...to...the loft. Roger... Please." Mimi said, her plead shocking the lovers.

"Y-Yes of course honey. Jo, grab her!" Maureen cried, standing up. Jo would've usually argued with her, but with Mimi's life hanging in the balance, Jo knew it wasn't the time.

Jo instantly scooped the young girl in her arms, and Mimi's head lolled back. "Maureen, keep her awake until we get there okay?" Jo asked. Maureen nodded a determined look on her face. "Mimi, honey, stay awake..." Mo started, and she started to talk about how Roger came back while the two women made their way out of the park...

**(Okay, I'm switching to Mimi's side of that event)**

"Mimi! OH MY GOD!!!!! MIMI!! WAKE UP, WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!" someone called, bringing Mimi back from her memories of Roger. She felt anger at the people who disturbed her, because she was feeling so happy...

"-take her to a hospital?"

What? No, Mimi couldn't go to a hospital! She couldn't...they'd try to save her, keep her alive. The part of her that was awake started to cheer. _It's what you want Mimi. How about if Roger comes back to beg for your forgiveness? What would he think about you being dead?_ That part told Mimi, and for once it was making sense.

Mimi needed to stay alive...

_I need to stay alive!_

"No, please don't..." Mimi whispered, hardly realizing what she was saying or what she was doing. The awake part of her sighed in happiness, and whispered gently, _Open your eyes_...Mimi was surprised to find that her eyes were closed. She didn't remember closing them...does she? Mimi struggled to open her eyes, and only succeeded with a flutter. She partly saw the people above her...

Wait, people?

Then Mimi remembered. The voices, they belonged to _people_, and not just any people...Mimi attempted again, and somehow was able to open her eyes fully. There was the people. At first they were blurry, and Mimi was confused. Who were these people?

But then her vision began to clear and Mimi saw who they were.

Mimi almost smiled. _Mo and Jo...my friends. They're here...they'll be with me when I die..._Mimi would've smiled, but she couldn't move. The only thing she could move was her eyes.

_They'll be with me when I die..._Wait, you can't die! Mimi mental yelled at herself. She had to live...for Angel, Mark, Maureen, Joanne, Collins...even Roger. It's funny, when you're on the brink of death; you suddenly have the urge to _live_.

"Meems...Mimi? Can you hear me sweetie?" Maureen asked Mimi, and Mimi couldn't even move to nod. So all she could do was hope Maureen could read the look in her eyes.

"Mimi? Oh God, are you okay honey?" Jo whispered, looking at Mimi with worried eyes. _God, they look so_ worried...Mimi thought, looking at both women. They seemed worried, sad, and sort of happy at the same time. Were they back together again? Mimi hoped they were. At least they'd have each other if...

_Stop Mimi! Focus on living!!!!_

Okay, talking was key Mimi knew.

"Take...me...to...the loft. Roger... Please." Mimi whispered gently. Both women looked at her in shock. Mimi didn't even know she was saying it before she heard herself. When she heard Roger's name, a pang of pain went to her heart. _Roger...oh, Roger, why aren't you here when I need you most?_

"Y-Yes of course honey. Jo, grab her!" Maureen cried, standing up. Jo wasted no time getting up and grabbing Mimi. Once Mimi was suspended in the air, a wave of dizziness overcame her. She felt sick...Mimi let her head loll back and closed her eyes.

"Maureen, keep her awake until we get there okay?" Mimi heard Jo ask in a whisper. Or, did they just sound far away? Yes, they sounded far away. Too far away.

"Mimi, honey, stay awake..." Maureen started, "Roger's back in New York, Meems."

This made Mimi more awake then she had felt in months. Her eyes immediately opened, and she looked at Maureen critically. Her dizziness forgotten, she looked at Maureen. A new feeling overcame her...a strong _desire _to go to him, kiss him, hold him...Maureen noticed the look on Mimi's face. She smiled, knowing her tactic was working.

"That's right baby, your Roger is back..."

**Hey that's all for now folks! REVIEWS ARE AWESOME!! Remember, it's the nice little green button on the bottom of the page...**

**NEXT CHAPTER ROGER COME S IN!!! YAH!!!!**


	3. Roger's Sadness

**Hey everyone! #3! Thx so much 4 the reviews Kassaremidybelllynn! I appreticate it! YAY!! ROGER'S HERE!!!!!! *coughs* anyway, i've decided to make 4 or 5 chapters. depends on next chapter :) please people, REVIW REVIEW REVIEW!!! honestly, i want more reviews!!! if you do, you get your own ersonal shout out ok? deal? you also get a free (put your favorite guy here)!!**

Disclaimer: GOD!! I DON'T OWN RENT OKAY!!!! *breaks down*

**A/N this takes place an hour or two before MoJo finds Mimi**

Roger Davis sat down with a heavy grunt. He laid back and stared at the ceiling of his old bedroom. He sure missed this room when he was at Santa Fe. This room had so many memories for him...Roger had decided to take a breather (his long-time friend Mark also had a major part in this decision) after practicing for so many hours. He has been practicing the song he wrote ever since he got back. He had to be ready when she got back.

_Mimi…_

God, he missed her so much. Ever since he came back to find his beautiful Mimi gone, he has been persistent in finding her. He _had_ to find her. She needed to hear his song. Every day that passed without her in his arms was killing him. It was killing him even faster then HIV was.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her soft skin, her dark wavy hair, her angelic eyes...He saw her everywhere he went, and several times this had tricked him into believing he had found her. But it always ended up that it was a stranger, a trick of light, or a trick from his mind. Both his friends and himself started to question his sanity.

He closed his eyes, and saw her in his mind's eye. Her beautiful body, her charming smile, her dancing just for him. Her singing a duet with him, her asking him to take her out. Her melting candle, her tricking him into giving back her smack…

But suddenly, the picture in his mind's eye changed.

Her skin started to pale, and look ghastly, her full skinny figure started to turn bony. Her hair started to loose its shine, and her clothes hanging limp on her too-skinny body… Smack was doing this to her. He wanted to yell in frustration. He wanted to help her fight against her greatest enemy, and she went along with it…or so he thought. He remembered catching her after work with the deathly powder in her hands…

_Flashback…_

_Roger breathed in the night air eagerly. Life was _finally_ going his way. His T-cells were high, he was on the brink of writing a song (he was just waiting for something inspiring), he had many good friends, and he was in love with the most beautiful woman in the world. _

_But that wasn't the best part._

_The most beautiful woman in the world loved him in return. She was also willing to go to hell and back just so she could be clean, therefore living longer. At least, that's what the lovers hoped…Gosh, she loved her so much._ _He could tell the withdrawal was tough on her. He knew what she was going through, and it was harsh even for the strongest people. Many times she had asked for drugs from him, even begged for it, but somehow she was making it through. She was beating the enemy. He was _so_ proud of her. Now she was getting better at resisting the drug and she understood that Roger was only trying to help her. It hurt Roger deeply that on those cold hard nights when she was sick she thought he was the enemy. Once this cruel and heartless enemy was beaten, there would only be one more enemy to beat:_

HIV

_That was going to the hardest enemy to beat, and there was no certainty that they'd make it out alive. But they had to try. He knew that she was strong enough to do it if she beat-_

_Roger stopped dead in his tracks. __He was about to cross the street when he heard the woman who has his heart. She was speaking urgently, and she was close. He could her repeating, "_No, no, no." _over and over again. There was only one thought on his mind, _Please let it not be her, please let it not her… _He was worrying for the worst, preparing for a fight as he neared the alley across from the _Catscratch club_. Was some skinhead harassing her? Was some drunken man groping her? If so, that man was going to get Roger's fist in his-_

_What Roger did see shocked him beyond repair. It stopped him dead in his tracks and made any thoughts he was thinking fly from his head. It made his fist waver, and he suddenly felt as if he was being crushed. First, undeniable grief filled him. How could she do this? After all they had done to make her clean…? The next emotion... Cruel rage. But even though he was so angry, only one thought came from his mind, _How could she do this?_Mimi was there in the alley, talking with The Man._

_In her hands was the deathly powder._

_He felt frozen in the spot. Roger knew he shouldn't have let her go to work that morning. If only he made her stay home. The Man looked up over her shoulder, and he grinned at Roger. It was as if he knew he had won. The rage made Roger's frozen body unclench. _"_Mimi!" he called out, only letting a little bit of his anger into that one word. Mimi froze, and then she slowly turned. She still held the powder in her hands, and she looked…frightened. _Remember, Roger, she was saying no…_a small voice told Roger in his head. But Roger didn't even pay attention. _

"_Mimi!" he called again, and came rushing forward. The Man started to back away, and soon he was out of sight. Out of sight out of mind. Mimi held up her hands, and started to talk. "I can explain-"but Roger didn't let her speak._ "_Mimi! I can't believe you! I love you! Am I not worth cutting back? I'm I _nothing_ to you?" he asked, grabbing her shoulders."Roger, I love you-"she began, but he cut her off. "This stuff is _killing_ you Mimi! THINK! I want you to stay with me for as long as you can! But when you do _this_, you're making the life we can have together shorter!" Roger cried, tears threatening to pour down his face. "Rog, I love you! I'd never do that to you-"but yet again he cut her off. _

"_How can you say you _love_ me when you're doing this to yourself? God, I love you, but _why_ Mimi?!?Why do you have to keep coming back to this?" he cried, cupping her face in his large hands. _

_"Roger! I'm CLEAN! Why won't you listen to me?" she yelled at him, and he saw some anger in her eyes. But his anger at her overdid hers._

"_Clean? CLEAN?!? What this then?" he yelled, just as angry. With a swift move he took the powder from her, and he put it up to her face, which was wet with tears. As he did so, he found himself looking into her eyes. __For a minute he felt as if time stood still._ _He could see many emotions in her eyes; shock, anger, respect, betrayal…but three emotions stood out before the rest._

_Love_

_Sadness_

_And pain_

_Roger felt as if he had just been slapped. He had caused those emotions he knew. And he didn't like the negative feelings he was making her feel. He was just as bad as those other men in her life. But every time he tries to be better for her, she does something that makes him…angry. He didn't know why, but she made him so _frustrated_. She was the only person who could downright get under his skin. _

_But this had its good outcomes as well._

_For example, she knew whenever Roger was thinking about April, and she somehow distracted him with her charm, or her personality. She makes him do things he would never normally do; play in the snow, skip and dance in the middle of the street, stop playing his guitar for a day, and just act plain silly…At first he was reluctant to change, but she helped him through it, got him out of the house. _

_Roger guessed that the reason why he got so mad at her because he didn't want to lose her after finally finding her. He got mad because…he knew that with every needle injection, she was killing herself. And he couldn't let her do it._ _But she refused to stop._ _Lately she had been acting so great…now he knew why._

_His anger gained control of him now as he looked at her. This was it. He was tired; tired of looking after he like she was a child, tired of worrying about her whenever she was out, waiting up for her so he'd be able to check her arms after work…He was very very tired._ _He knew she would never stop the drugs…and he couldn't just sit there watching her die. Roger had to take the easy way out._ _So his anger decided to utter the two words that haunted him ever since he said them…_

"_It's over."_

_End of flashback…_

Roger roughly sighed. How could he have been so _blind?!_ His anger had blinded him ever after that fight, and it kept blinding him until he got to Santa Fe.

Anger had stopped him from letting her explain…

Anger had blinded him when he wanted to make her his again and apologize…

Anger had clouded his mind when he decided to go to Santa Fe...

Anger had blinded him from bringing his inspiration back to him.

Roger had let grief and anger control him, and now look where he was. The love of his life was missing, he lost the trust of most of his friends, and he left Mimi when she needed him most.

In Santa Fe, he had put the pieces together, and he honestly _regretted_ his last decisions. He realized what Mimi was trying to explain in that alleyway that night. That and a letter from Mark had explained it all.

She had been trying to explain that The Man had forced the drugs on her, and that she was never going to use it. She was going to throw it away…at least that was what he hoped.

He barely remembered what happened after he told her it's over. What he did remember was throwing the smack at her as she cried, and her yelling, "No! _Please_ don't do this! _PLEASE don't leave me!_" Roger ignored it as he turned around and walked out of the alley, leaving her crying there. He walked all the way home, trying to rid Mimi's cries from his mind. When he got home Mark was already asleep, so Roger raced to his room and made himself fall asleep…

He looked over to his "nightstand", and looked at the picture there lovingly. It was of Mimi and him. They were on the fire escape, and Mimi was on Roger's lap. Her arms were around his neck, and she was giving the camera a beautiful smile. He himself was looking at Mimi and kissing her cheek. Roger remembered what he was thinking right then…

_I can't believe that I'm with such a beautiful woman... _

And he let her go a couple of months later.

\Roger gritted his teeth and sat up. God, she _needed_ him, and he just left. How stupid can you get? He looked up to his dresser, and noticed another picture.

Well, a collage. It was of pictures of the whole group. All of these pictures were from the day that the group decided to go to the park. It was such a beautiful day, and the sun was practically begging to be soaked up. Mimi and the girls practically begged the guys to go, and well you can't say no to a couple of pleading women. They all went with a picnic basket. They enjoyed themselves so much that day.

They forgot everything…Maureen and Joanne didn't fight the whole day, because they couldn't find a reason to fight, Collins and Angel were practically in each other's arms all day, and Mimi and Roger didn't once talk about dying, HIV, AZT, or the drugs. It was a day full of sun and fluffy bunnies. Mark of course held onto his camera all day, taking magnificent pictures.

One picture from the collage was of Angel and Collins laughing, another was of Maureen, Angel and Mimi doing sexy poses. One was of Mark and Roger (Mark somehow had the courage to trust Maureen with the camera), and another was of Maureen and Joanne kissing. Roger's eyes finally rested on the last two pictures…

The first was of the whole group, even Mark, sitting on a large blanket and flashing smiles. Angel was leaning on Collins' shoulder, Joanne, Maureen and Mark had each other's arms around one another, and Mimi was on Roger's lap. She was winking at the camera, and Roger was sticking his tongue out. That picture completely showed how happy they were that day. It showed how much they truly loved each other.

The second was of Mimi and Roger. They were lying down and just relaxing under the shade, their hands intertwined. Mimi had her head on his chest and they had small smiles on their faces. Their eyes were closed and they looked like they were in a perfect dream. Roger sighed, staring at the picture. They were all so happy…what happened to them?

"Roger, you up? Take-out's here!"

**There you go! Chapter 3! Remember, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!**

**P.S. RoxMi REUNITE NEXT CHAPTER!! YAY!!!!**


	4. Flashbacks of happiness long lost

**Hey! Well, well, well, 4****th**** chapter! YAY!! I couldn't help myself but to add tons of flashbacks. Oh, and remember last chapter with the collage of the park? Well, I couldn't help but add to that experience! It just seemed so happy and fun! So yah, anyway, on with the story**

Disclaimer: *still sobbing* I DON'T OWN RENT!!! WAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**P.S. Thank you so much ****Azalea Shell**** for reviewing!! Thanks a million!**

"_Close-up on Roger and Mimi, lying down in their own little world. They've been together for about...Hey! Roger, you were able to keep a girlfriend for 3 months!" Mark cried at the tired couple. He was taping the couple while they were lying on the blanket they brought. "Shut up." Roger muttered, tightening his grip on Mimi's waist._

_They were all at the park. It was such a good day that they couldn't pass it up. Well, the girls couldn't. Mimi had to practically drag Roger there, because she refused to let him bring his baby (his guitar). _

_At first Roger was afraid he was going to have a bad time, but Mimi was going to have none of it. She made him play like a child, she made him act silly...she turned him into a completely different man. And Roger enjoyed it. _

_Now, Roger and Mimi had decided to take a cat nap. Angel, Jo and Collins went to the store to buy some beer, and Mo was playing on the playground with some kids. Mark was bored so he was spending some time taping his friends. He had already spent half-an-hour taping Mo, so now it was Rog's and Meem's turn. _

"_Look how peaceful Meems looks! God, she's naturally photogenic. The camera loves you, hon." Mark said, zooming in on Mimi. Her eyes were closed and she looked genuinely peaceful. Lately she had been so sick that she barely left her apartment, and the group didn't see a lot of her because of her withdrawal._

_But lately she has been coming out more and more, and it made everyone happy that she was. _

"_Roger, get that whiny thing to shut up." Mimi moaned. It kind of surprised Mark that she said that to a complement. _

_Well, it wasn't that surprising, because the withdrawal has taken a lot out of her. Her skin was slightly pale, she had bags under her eyes, and her lips were slightly cracked. She has convinced herself that because of the withdrawal she wasn't pretty anymore, no matter how many times the group has told her otherwise. _

_The only one that could convince Mimi she was beautiful was Roger. One word out of him, and she's suddenly beautiful. It was cute actually._

"_Mark..." Roger growled, opening his one eye. "Fine, fine I'm going." Mark said, turning off his camera. _

_Peace and quiet at last..._

"Mimi, honey, stay awake okay? Girlfriend, we're almost at the loft." Maureen said, sounding far away. Mimi groaned, turning her head into someone's shoulder. Where was she? What was happening?

"Mo, keep her awake."

"Pookie, I'm trying! This is the 4th time she passed out on us! There's nothing I can do-"

"Maureen, think of it this way; next time she goes out, she probably won't come back."

What were they talking about? Where was she? Where was she going? She could barely remember anything...

Wait...those voices...they belong to Mimi's friends...Mo and Jo...Mimi wearily opened her eyes, and was might with a dark sky. There wasn't one star, which wasn't shocking. It was NYC for crying out loud. She also saw snow topped roofed buildings, and light posts.

"Meems! Stay with me, okay girlfriend? Stay-"

"_We're back __mis amigos! __¡traemos la cerveza!_** (We bring beer!)**_" Angel cried, racing down the path with Collins. Both Angel and Collins had a 6-pack in one hand, and were holding hands with the others._

"_Yay!" Mimi cried, getting up. _

"_English please?" Mark cried at the same time. _

"_THE BEER IS HERE!!!!" Maureen and Mimi cried, running forward. It was around 6 p.m, which meant all of the kids were gone, and were replaced by teens. So they weren't going to get in trouble for the beer._

"_¡gracias, gracias, gracias chica!"Mimi cried, running over and hugging her best friend. Roger watched from behind her, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. Gosh, he loved watching her being so happy._

"_You're welcome chica! Roger's staring at you."Angel whispered with a smile. Thankfully no one else heard. Mimi just blushed and secretly looked behind her. Angel was right; he was staring. _

"_Parece él…_**(Looks like it...)"**

"_Okay, enough Spanish! LET'S OPEN THE BEER!!" Maureen yelled, spinning around. Joanne started to laugh (Mimi, Roger, and Mark couldn't believe it) and she grabbed Maureen from behind. "Baby, calmness okay?" Joanna said._

_Mo just sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Fine." Mo said, and amazingly walked over to Angel. Mimi had already passed beers about, and was about to open hers when Mark yelled, "Wait!"_

"_What is it honey?" Angel asked with a frown. She was sitting on Collins lap and had an arm around Collins neck. The other hand held her beer. _

"_I wanna take a picture, because the sun's hitting the blanket just right and it'd seem like a great place for a group-"_

"_Why didn't you say so sweetie? Everyone, beers back in the boxy thingy!" Maureen cried out, putting her beer back. Everyone else reluctantly did so, and they all got on the blanket. _

_Except for Mark of course, who set the timer on his camera._

_Angel sat beside Collins and laid her head on his shoulder, Maureen wound her arms around Mark and Joanne's waists, and they wrapped their arms around hers. Finally Roger sat on the blanket with Mimi, with her winking and Roger's tongue out._

"_Everyone say cheese!" Mark cried._

"_BEER!!" they cried instead._

"Baby, don't you dare go unconscious again. Roger's waiting for you remember? You don't want to be out when you see him, right?"

Mimi groaned again, and found herself opening her eyes yet again. Why did her eyes keep closing? _They're flashbacks, sweetie, that's why._ The voice in Mimi's head said. The alive part.

Oh, right. Mimi slightly smiled at the last flashback. They were at the park that day, and it was one of the best days of her life. She was pretty close to clean, Angel was quite well, and no one was angry, depressed, or fighting. Mimi would've probably given anything for everyday to be like that day. Everything was just so...perfect.

Unlike now. Now Roger hated her, her friends were probably mad at her for running away, and Angel was dead. Oh joy to the world.

"I'm...I'm...I'm-"Mimi stuttered, trying to apologize for her behaviour. "Shh, baby, it's okay. We know you're sorry. Don't worry about that now. Worry about staying conscious, k hon?" Jo whispered, slightly shifting Mimi.

Oh yeah, Jo was carrying Mimi...Carrying Mimi to..."Roger." Mimi whispered, and she saw his face in her mind. For the past 2 months, when she pictured Roger in her mind's eye, she saw his anger, his hatred in his eyes. She also saw disappointment in his eyes, especially when she was saying goodbye to him.

_Goodbye love...Goodbye love. Came to say, goodbye love, goodbye..._

"Goodbye love...Goodbye love. Came to say, goodbye love, goodbye..."

"Shh, honey, save your strength." Mo whispered, running her fingers through Mimi's greasy hair. Huh? It was then Mimi realized she was singing _Goodbye love_.

Now, when Mimi pictured Roger's face, she saw forgiveness and maybe a little love in his eyes. Gosh, she missed him so much, she could hardly bear it. She missed his love as well, the love that has been missing from her life for a long time.

"Okay..."

"_Roger!" Mimi cried out before dissolving into fits of coughing. Roger came instantly into the room, and rushed to her side. She was on the couch, sweating and convulsing. "Baby, baby, are you okay?" Roger whispered, sitting in front of her, holding her cheeks in his calloused hands. _

"_N-N-No, Roger. I'm n-n-not. I w-want it R-Roger. I want m-my smack." she stuttered, shaking. It killed Roger to see his girlfriend going through this, but they both knew it'd be worth it. "No babe, _none_ of that. You want to be clean, remember? You and I talked about it." Roger whispered slowly, as if she was a child. He stroked her face gently, but he instantly pulled his hands away when he saw the look in his girlfriend's eyes._

"_DAMN WHAT I SAID!! I want my smack! ¡QUIERO LAS DROGAS! ¡QUIERO LAS DROGAS! ¡QUIERO LAS DROGAS! _**(I want drugs!)**_" Mimi yelled at Roger, and began to sob. "Shh, shh, it'll be okay, it'll be okay, it'll be okay..."Roger whispered over and over again._

_Mimi sobbed into his chest, while he stroked her wet hair. Mimi concentrated on Roger, trying to stop thinking about the drugs. Roger's wet T-shirt, Roger's woody smell, Roger's prickly chin that he hasn't shaved since the park..._

"Come stop your crying  
It will be all right  
Just take my hand

Hold it tight

I will protect you  
from all around you  
I will be here  
Don't you cry..." _Roger sang hesitantly, still stroking Mimi's hair. He was afraid she would lash out at him again. When she didn't, and she seemed to quiet down a little, he continued._

"For one so small,  
you seem so strong  
My arms will hold you,  
keep you safe and warm  
This bond between us  
Can't be broken  
I will be here  
Don't you cry." _Roger kept singing and Mimi's tears seemed to stop. God, she hasn't felt so loved in her whole life. No one had sung for her before. Roger stopped suddenly and she felt his arm snake around her, readying to pick her up. "Please, don't stop Roger." Mimi whispered, digging her head in his chest. "Okay honey..._

"'Cause you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart, always..."_Roger sang quietly, bringing his crying girlfriend to his bedroom. Roger placed her gently on the bed, and began to hum. "Isn't that a lullaby...?" Mimi whispered, yawning. _

"_Shh, shh sweetie, fall asleep now, okay? _Cuz you'll be in my heart, always_..." Roger sang. With that Mimi fell into sweet oblivion..._

"MARK! ROGER! ANYONE! HELP!"

Mimi gasped at that, and opened her eyes partially. She saw...a building, and on one of the balconies a window was opening.

If Mimi had enough strength, she would've smiled.

This was the building. Her building. Her apartment was up there-Wait, maybe it wasn't hers anymore. Benny probably had rented it out when she abandoned it. Man that sucks. She had that apartment for years...

3 people came out of a window. They were blurry for a minute, and Mimi could barely recognize them.

One man had carroty hair, and glasses. Another had brown skin and a black beanie...Mimi smiled. Her other friends.

Collins; who protected her, and who laughed with her.

Mark; who is in love with his camera but she helped him out of his shell. Mimi and Angel both.

The other man, Mimi could kind of recognize. Shaggy dirty blond hair, a kind face...Mimi felt tears in her eyes. Maureen didn't lie. She had told the truth...he really was here.

Roger was back from Santa Fe.

Mimi felt like she could soar. She wanted to jump out of Jo's arms, climb the fire escape and grab Roger. She wanted to kiss him passionately, and say how sorry she was.

She wanted to.

But she couldn't. She found herself shivering, and she was feeling light-headed. So...cold...The night air was so cold...why weren't they inside? Usually seeing Roger would warm her up, but today it wasn't working...

"We can't get her up the stairs!" Mo cried, looking over at Mimi. She looked so sick...like Angel did the night she died...

"Hurry up please!!" Mo added, tears threatening to spill over.

"Mimi!" Roger cried.

**Oooh, suspense! The next chapter will have 'Your Eyes', and I might or might not add a 6****th**** chapter that has 'Finale B', kk? REVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pweaty pwease with RENT on top??**


	5. I should tell you that I die without you

Okay, change of plans. I decided to do 'Finale A' for this chapter, and next chapter will be 'Your Eyes' and maybe 'Finale B' Anyways, I hope you enjoy. It took me all day to write it…

Disclaimer: *sniffles* Okay, I've stopped crying. I don't own _RENT_. It belongs to the late Jonathon Larson (May he rest in peace)

"SPEAK!"

Both Roger and Mark looked up expectantly at the answering machine. Who would be calling at this time at night? They didn't know a lot of people, and MoJo was probably at home celebrating, Benny's obviously with Muffy, and Mimi's…

Roger sighed. For some reason, every time the phone rang, he hoped it was her. That she found a quarter or something and decided to call here. Maybe even to find out if Roger was back. Nothing would please Roger more to hear from his Latina tonight…

But he knew that chances were bloody slim to none.

So if it isn't MoJo, Benny, or Mimi…then there's only one other person...

"Hey it's me, throw down the keys!" was suddenly heard from the answering machine. Both Roger and Mark smiled. Just the person they wanted to see…their buddy Collins, who they haven't seen in months. Ever since Angel's death he was distant, but after Mo contacted him to see if Mimi was with him (obviously she wasn't), and he found out that Meems was missing, he came and took charge. It was obvious he didn't want to lose another person in the group. He also cared very much about Mimi…she was the only one who understood him when it came to Angel's death. Collins and Mimi were the closest people to Angel, and it practically killed them both to lose her.

"Hey! Look whose home!" Mark said with a smile. Roger knew Mark missed Collins dearly. He was so worried when Collins took off, and when he came back…Mark was overjoyed. Roger couldn't even begin to imagine how Mark felt about losing both of his best friends at the same time. Mark knew Roger and Collins longer then anyone else in the group (other then Mo and Benny, but that's not the point…), and Roger knew it probably killed him to see both of his friends leave him behind.

Roger knew that it'd take a long time to gain Mark's trust back, but he knew he could do it. He had to. Mark ran over to the fire escape, taking the keys with him. Roger just watched his friend as he threw down the keys. Gosh, Mark was so much stronger then other people take him for…

Before Roger knew it, the loft door was opening, and Mark ran over to hug Collins (sorry for the skip, but do we really care about a few missing sentences?). "Hey! Merry Christmas!" Collins cried, smiling at the two. Roger couldn't help but let his smile go wider. Collins had that effect on people. He seemed to brighten everyone's day, no matter how bad theirs was going.

"Merry Christmas. Welcome back! Come 'ere." Mark said with a smile, finishing his hug with Collins. Roger got up now and went over to Collins. It was a relief to see Collins slightly happy. Last time he saw him at Angel's funeral, he was pale, crying, and obviously in pain.

"Grab your key. Hey man!" he said to Mark, then turned on Roger.

"Hey Thomas. Merry Christmas" Roger said, hugging his friend.

"Any word from Mimi?" Collins suddenly asked. Roger froze, and he almost stopped breathing.

Mimi…Did Collins honestly think that if Roger had found Mimi; he'd be here right now? Being a lazy ass and playing his guitar? No, he wouldn't. He'd be at the hospital, holding her hand and telling her it'd be alright.

Roger made himself unfreeze, and look at Collins. Not trusting his voice to speak, he simply shook his head. Collins looked sent a sympathetic look to his friend, and then turned to Mark. When Collins noticed the projector, he grinned from ear to ear. "You got the projector? You finished the movie! Yo, I want to see it!" he cried, placing the bottle of stoili on the coffee table.

Mark smiled at Collins; he had always supported his filming. Roger looked like he was in a daze. When you mentioned Mimi round here, this was how Roger reacted. He went into himself, and almost completely ignored everything else around him. Mark could only hope that Collins could help him move on. "Okay." Mark said with a shrug, and they all moved so they surrounded the table.

They all desperately needed a drink. Mark did the honors and began to pass the stoili out, while Collins pulled out a big handful of cash. Roger's eyes widened. How the hell did Collins get that much money? It did probably help that he had a job…

"Oh yah, I thought you'd need this to get some heat in here." Collins said casually, handing a small pile of twenties to both men. Being the modest one, Mark whispered, "You didn't have to." He did it just as Roger said thanks. There was no way Roger was giving back the money. Maybe it could go to the cause of finding Mimi…

Collins started to talk, Roger didn't listen. He started to think of someone else, his Angel, his song…

Where was Mimi tonight? Was she safe? Was she out in the cold? Is she still doing drugs? Was she sparing any thought for them at all? Roger knew that the moment he thought that last thought, it wasn't true. Mimi was sometimes a bit unfaithful, but she would never be that careless. Roger knew as well as the rest of them that she cared for everyone in the group. Even Joanne.

He hoped that Mimi was somewhere safe and warm. He didn't care where she was; at the Community center, a shelter, at Benny's place…It's freezing out there, and if she was out there, he knew she wouldn't last long. Especially without her AZT and a proper jacket. He couldn't bear losing someone else he loved…

_Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.  
The mind churns!  
The heart yearns!  
The tears dry, without you.  
Life goes on, but I__'__m gone_ _Cause I die, without you.  
Without you…_

It killed Roger not having her with him, especially on this night. It's Christmas Eve for crying out loud!

"A-N-G-E-L." Collins said with a smile. Roger blinked. Whoa, he had totally missed that conversation. Something about rewiring something…and a code… "Cheers." Collins said holding up his cup of alcohol. The other two followed his lead, and they knocked their cups together just like in the old days.

Mark sighed as he remembered last Christmas. Last Christmas, after knocking their cups together, Angel came into their lives. It was amazing, and she even made Roger happy. Now, without Angel in their lives, it was as if that light from last X-Mas Eve was gone, and there was nothing to take its place. Not even Mimi.

"MARK! ROGER! ANYONE-HELP!!!!" the trio suddenly heard from the window. They were instantly worried because one, they knew it was Mo, and two she sounded desperate. They all instantly rushed to the window, Roger feeling a sense of dread. _Please, let everything be alright, please, please please please…_

The trio made it to the window, and with a yank Collins opened it. Even though he wasn't showing it, he was just as scared as the others. Was there something terribly wrong? Was Jo okay? Was Mo okay...?

They all stopped in their tracks when they saw what was down there. _No no no no nonononono…NO! _Roger thought desperately as he looked won at the scene. Mo and Jo were there, and they held an incredibly pale, thin, and trembling Mimi.

"Oh God." Collins whispered.

"We can't get her up the stairs. Hurry up please!" Mo cried, looking ever so desperate. Everyone knew that wasn't good. When she sounded desperate, it meant something was very, very wrong. It was obvious that Mimi has been on the street, and it was even more obvious that she was freezing.

"Mimi!" Roger cried, and instantly ran down the stairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~* :: *~~~~~~~~~~~~ (back to Mimi)

_Without you. _

_Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats. _

_The mind churns! _

_The heart yearns!_

_The tears dry, without you._

_Life goes on, but I'm gone. _

_Cause I die, without you. Without you…_

_Without you…_

Mimi gasped as the door to the building opened. It surprised her dearly. She had almost blacked out again as she waited for her 3 friends. Mimi was fading fast, and she knew it. And by the looks from the others, they knew it too. Mimi felt so sorry that she was going to die. It was going to kill the others. Losing two people one after another must be painful. How were they gonna get through it?

"Mimi, stay with us honey." Jo whispered, as the three men came over. "Mimi." Roger whispered, looking down at her. Mimi sighed; she loved it when he said her name. God knows if she was ever going to hear it again… "Baby girl, you're back." Collins said with a smile, but it looked slightly forced and pained. Mimi couldn't help but feel sorry for leaving him…

_I'm sorry Collins…_

She was sorry that she was going to be leaving him without someone who knew how he felt about Angel. Who could share stories about how wonderful she was, or tell him how she was before she met him. She was sorry that she didn't have more time to tell him, and she was sorry that she never told him how much she cared for him. She was also sad because after she was gone no one would ever call him their "big brown teddy bear"… She felt people lifting her up, and she noticed 4 heads around her. One was Collins; another was Mark, obviously Jo, and…Roger. "We found her in the park, and she was freezing. She begged to come here." Mo explained, as she opened the door to the lobby. The four people filed her into the building, and Mimi sighed again as she felt a little bit of heat hit her. It felt heavenly.

"Just wait a little longer, hon. We're almost at the loft." Mark said, looking worriedly at Mimi. He seemed to be the only one who was showing his true feelings of the situation. She loved that honesty…

_I'm sorry Mark…_

She was sorry that she wasn't stronger. If she was stronger, she wouldn't be dying. Once she was dead, he'd have to deal with Roger. She was sorry that almost everything was being dumped on him, and she was sorry she was dying almost right after Angel's death. She was sorry that he was going to go back into his shell after she was gone. She was sorry for the mess she made with Roger, and she wished him a good life after this.

"We'll get you some heat, and something to eat sweetie." Jo whispered. She was looking like as if she just broke a bone. She was in pain because she knew Mimi was going to die. Mimi looked in front of them, to see Mo racing in front of them. She had tears running down her cheeks. Mimi was causing both Mo and Jo pain, and it hurt Mimi more then ever. She didn't want to cause them worry or pain…

_I'm sorry Mo and Jo…_

She was so sorry she was ditching them, and leaving the two girls with the three boys. She was sorry that she had caused them to worry, and that she was sorry for all the trouble and time they had wasted trying to find her. Mimi had heard from The Man that they were looking for her, but she refused to let herself be found. She moved around everywhere, and once she was almost caught. The day before though, she had gotten so weak, she just went into the deepest and darkest part of the park, and gave up. Hoping no one would go through there…Mimi hoped that MoJo remained a couple for the rest of their lives, because truly they were a good couple.

"I'm sorry Collins I'm sorry Jo I'm sorry Mo I'm sorry Mark…I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry…" Mimi breathed. The group gave her confused looks, but kept on going.

_Creak…_

Mimi realized that they had just opened the loft door, and they were entering. "There's no room on the couch!" Mo cried, sounding panicked. "Put her on the table!" Mark cried. Mo and Jo were instantly at the table. They threw anything that was on there onto the floor, and put on a slim sheet. They added a pillow or two, and Jo placed her small jacket onto the pillow. Mark and Collins let go of Mimi, and Mimi suddenly realized that Roger was now carrying her all by himself.

He rushed over to the table, and Mimi started to cough hard. He placed her onto it, and Mimi let her head fall back onto the pillows. Gosh, she felt so comfy…

_Stay with them, girl. Stay…_Mimi then heard. This almost made her jump. The voice wasn't the alive part of her or the numb part. It was a completely different. It was warm, and familiar, like seeing an old friend after many months apart **(A/N Ironic eh?).** It was kind and gentle, and it made Mimi want to stay alive. She opened her eyes to see Roger right above her, and she saw him tear up enough time to know he was on the brink of tears.

"Roger…"

_I'm sorry Roger…_

She was sorry for being unfaithful, she was sorry for being a whore and a bitch. She was sorry he ended up with a girl like her when he deserved so much better. She was sorry for any pain she caused him, and she was sorry for everything…

"I'm here, Meems. And please, don't be sorry." He whispered, caressing her face. Wait…he heard her? She said it out loud? That's good she guessed, when you don't think of it in an embarrassing way. That meant he knew she was sorry for everything, and he'd know it after she was gone… His hand felt so good on her cheek, and it was something she's been missing and craving for for months. The leaned into his hand. It felt so warm and good…

_No, stay awake! Tell him what you need to…_

Damned voice. Mimi opened her eyes, and she suddenly knew what to tell him.

"_I should tell you_

_I should tell you…"_ Mimi sang weakly.

"_I should tell you_

_I should tell you…"_Roger sang back, a small smile on his lips despite his watering eyes. He looked so saddened that Mimi couldn't help but tear up as well. Roger was too wonderful to cry…

"_I should tell you_

_Benny wasn't any-__**"**_Mimi began, looking at him with pain in her heart. Benny was one of the reasons they broke up in the first place, and truly she hated him. She honestly didn't know what she was thinking when she dated him…

"_Shh, I know."_ Roger sang, and for the first time Mimi actually believed that he did understand. God, he was such a good man…to forgive her so easily…

"_I should tell you why I left_

_It wasn't, 'cause I didn't-__**"**_Roger sang, and Mimi instantly cut him off. She knew why.

"_I know, I should tell you..."_Mimi whispered, and she suddenly realized what she had to tell him before she died.

"_I should tell you…"_

"_I should tell you…I love you…"_ Mimi sang, her voice fading at the end. She started a fit of coughs, and she snuck looks at Roger. He looked shocked, and he looked kind of heartbroken with those tears in his eyes.

"_Who do you think you are?_

_Leaving me alone with my guitar…" _Roger sang, and Mimi was suddenly reminded of the night she asked him to take her out. It made her feel good that he changed it from "barging" to "leaving". It made her feel great actually…Until Mimi gasped, feeling as if there was no air in her lungs. Her vision was blurring, and she felt her head droop…

"_Hold on there's something you_

_Should hear…_

_It isn't much but it took all year."_ Roger whispered, carefully lifting her head…

_Without you…  
Without you, the hand gropes, the ear hears, the pulse beats.  
Without you, the eyes gaze, the legs walk, the lungs breathe.  
The mind churns!  
The mind churns!  
The heart yearns!  
The heart yearns!  
The tears dry, without you.  
Life goes on, but I__'__m gone.  
Cause I die, without you.  
Without you,_

_Without you…  
Without you….._

**There you go…You like it? If you do, ****PLEASE**** review!! Oh yes, I want to thank the people who took time out of their lives to review this story: ****Kassaremidybelllynn****, ****Azalea Shell****, ****brdwygrl15****, and ****Laughing Luna****. Thank you so much you guys!**

**Oh yah, I couldn't help but add **_**Without You **_**into this chapter. I was listening to the song, and I just thought, 'Okay, I **_**have**_** to put this in here'**

**-Ash**


	6. The love in her eyes

_Hey everyone! Okay, okay, this fic is going way longer than planned. Next chapter might or might not be the last. I'll explain why at the end of the chapter. Anyway, onto the story!_

**Disclaimer: the usual **

"_I should tell you…I love you…"_ Mimi sang, her voice fading at the end. Roger looked at her in shock. He expected anything, everything to come from her mouth. But not those 3 words. Ever since he met her, he knew she was afraid of commitment, and now...she confessed her love for him.

Those words sent Roger's heart soaring, but it made him want to cry at the same time. Was she saying it because she knew she was going to...?

Roger couldn't bring himself to think it. She couldn't, just _couldn't_ die. He refused to let her. Mimi dissolved into a fit of coughs, and Roger noticed her peeking at him, as if waiting for him to freak out. But he wasn't going to. Because truly, he loved her as well. There was no doubting it for him.

He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he cared. That he wasn't going to let her go, but he couldn't bring the words to his lips. They were too hard. That was until he remembered something.

He had to play the song for her. He had to play it for her before she...

She _had_ to listen to it. He made that song just for her, and if she told him to never play it for anyone else, he'd easily oblige. This was _her_ song, and she needed to hear it.

"_Who do you think you are?_

_Leaving me alone with my guitar…"_ Roger sang quietly, and she looked at him with curiosity in her eyes. The last time he used those words, he was kicking her out. Now, he was using them to show how much he cared...

Mimi gasped, and Roger instantly tightened his grip on her hands. No way was he losing her. Not this night, not this time...not like April. Never like April. He wasn't going to lose the only woman he's ever loved (he never did love April). The next words he sang rolled off his tongue, and he didn't bother to stop it.

"_Hold on there's something you_

_Should hear…_

_It isn't much but it took all year."_ Roger whispered, carefully lifting her head. He placed his head close to hers, so she could hear every word he was saying, and he held their entwined hands in between them.

"_Your eyes  
As we said our goodbyes  
Can't get them out of my mind  
And I find I can't hide  
From your eyes..."_Roger sang, looking at Mimi in the eyes. He caressed her cheek lovingly, willing her fatigue and coldness to go away. He knew that now, all that preparing while she had been gone had been worth it. She stared at him, and Roger knew her enough to notice the love in her eyes.

He remembered seeing that love in her eyes many times. When Angel and Collins kissed or laughed together, when she was taking care of Angel in the hospital, and there was the odd time when she looked at Roger..._Please stay awake Mimi..._

"_The ones that took me by surprise  
The night you came into my life  
Where there's moonlight I see your eyes..._"Roger whispered, as Mimi placed her free hand on his shoulder.

"_How'd I let you slip away  
When I'm longing so to hold you  
Now I'd die for one more day  
'Cause there's something I should have told you  
Yes there's something I should have told you..._"Roger sang, running his fingers through her greasy hair. She closed her eyes, and she looked like she was on the brink of blanking out. Or...

_Please stay awake Mimi...For me._

"_When I looked into your eyes  
Why does distance make us wise?  
You were the song all along  
And before this song dies_..." Roger sang, letting a lone tear escape. He wanted-no, he _needed_ her to stay awake. He placed his hands on their already entwined ones, and looked at her. God, she was so pale...

* * *

Mimi forced her eyes open, wanting his voice the last thing she heard before she died. Her heart was swelled with love. Did he write this song just for her? She gripped his jacket, willing herself to stay awake. The voice didn't have to tell her to stay awake. But everything was blackening around the edges, and everything was sounding for away...

Only Roger's voice rang strong and true.

* * *

"_I should tell you I should tell you  
I have always loved you  
You can see it in my eyes!_"Roger sang, finally admitting his love for her. As if that was the only thing she needed to hear, she closed her eyes, and the death grip on Roger's leather jacket fell. Roger's tears could not be stopped. A couple more fell, but he gave no acknowledgement. He just stared at the love of his life, who had just lost the light in her eyes...

* * *

Mimi couldn't take it anymore. Giving in was way more appealing to her. She felt her eyes close, and her hand went limp. She barely caught Roger's last words to her..."_I have always loved you...You can see it in my eyes!"_ Mimi let her final breath out, and everything went black around her.

* * *

Roger stared at the love of his life. Her body was limp, lifeless, and the love in her beautiful eyes was gone. Only a dull emptiness was left in their stead. Roger felt a cry bubbling from inside of him.

Her picked her up and put her in a sitting position, and held her close to him. He held that beautiful brown hair that captured the moonlight in his hands, and that cry from inside him let itself out. "_Mimi!!_"

* * *

Mimi looked around her. She was surrounded in a white mist, and she was alone. Where was she? She was just in Roger's apartment, and he was singing the song that he had been trying to write for a year. And then...

Everything went dark, and she suddenly awoke here. Strange. Maybe this was heaven?

No way, Mimi didn't deserve to go to heaven. She was a stripper whore who was unfaithful to the best boyfriend in the world, she did drugs, she lied and cheated, and to top it all off, she had the worst relationship possible with her parents.

So why in hell was she in...?

"Hello?" she called and her voice just echoed. "_Hello!!_ Don't I get a welcoming committee or _something_?!" she called out into the mist. There had to be someone out there to help her. Maybe whoever helps her will send her back. Say she was too young to die and all that crap-

"Sorry, sugar, all you have is me."

Mimi gasped. She knew that voice! It was her best friend, her-

"Hey chica." Angel said, and suddenly came from the mist. She wore a white dress that suited her perfectly, and she looked happy. Except for that small piece of sadness in her eyes that showed how much she missed her Collins.

"Angel! OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!" Mimi cried, rushing over to her best friend. She ran over, and hugged her tightly. Angel just hugged back gratefully, hugging just as hard. Angel didn't have a lot of company up there, and having her best friend there was a treat.

But she didn't want her best friend up there if it meant her dying.

"Hey honey..." Angel said, smiling. "Oh Angel! I've missed you so much! So many things have been happening!" Mimi said, and tears started rolling down her cheeks. How did she survive so long without her best friend beside her, giving her advice, making her happy when nothing else succeeded..._How?_

"I know baby, I know. I was there chica. Baby, I'm so sorry I wasn't there physically, but the light was calling me..."Angel whispered, and it sounded as if she was crying too. "But now I can be with you, Ang. We'll never be separated again." Mimi whispered, pulling away. She wiped her cheeks, and smiled brightly at her friend. But the strange thing was...

Angie wasn't smiling back.

"What's wrong, baby?" Mimi asked, frowning. She thought that she'd be _happy_ having Mimi back in her arms...

"Chica, I don't want you here."

That was like a blow to Mimi's small stomach. Angel didn't want her there...? It didn't make sense, like Roger saying he didn't like-no, _hated_ playing his guitar. It was just something you never hear. Why wouldn't Angel want her there...didn't she care about Mimi...? Shouldn't she be happy that they were reunited?

"Baby, please don't be upset. Hon, it's not that I don't _want_ you here...Sometimes, it's all I wish. But, chica, I don't want you here because you gave up and died. You didn't even pick up a fight, and I don't want this weak Mimi here. I want the Mimi who wouldn't even let Death touch her until she was ready to go. And you know that you'll kill Roger if you let yourself stay here." Angel whispered, holding her chica tighter.

What she said about Roger seemed to hit a nerve in Mimi. Mimi knew that Angel was right. Losing April, and then losing Mimi...it'd kill him.

"N-No, Roger'll be f-fine." Mimi whispered, trying not to believe it. She wanted to stay with Angel, but she didn't want Roger to die because of her.

"Baby, let me show you something..."Angel said, and before Mimi knew it, everything went dark once again...

**There, end of chapter 6. **

**Okay, I promised you a reason why the next chapter might not be the last. You see, I love Angel, and I thought about just her and Mimi talking for like a second, and then Mimi being sent back to earth, but what's the fun in that? So, I decided to add a bit more Angel into this story. I couldn't help it.**

**Anyway, guys, I REALLY want reviews. So PLEASE guys review! I want at least one more review before I continue on with the story, okay? **

**-Ash**


	7. Turn around girlfriend

**Here you go everyone. Enjoy the Angel-y goodness. Please know that this chapter is kind of depressing. And if you're a Roger fan, keep tissues at the ready.**

**Disclaimer: the usual**

When Mimi opened her eyes again, she was in a dark room. It was very dark, and the only light produced was from the lamp posts outside. Mimi looked around herself, and there was Angel, staring sadly at one part of the room.

Mimi could barely see, but she could see Angel was staring at an outline of a bed, and beside the bed were a small nightstand type thing, and a shape of a guitar on the floor. Where was she...?

"Angel, why are we-"

"Shh, baby girl. Watch." Angel said, and motioned towards the bed. It was at that moment that a car passed by, and its headlights came into the room. Mimi gasped at what it illuminated.

She could see the room clearly. Beer bottles littered the floor, all of them empty and some even shattered. There were also little empty baggies littering the floor. On the "nightstand", there were 3 or 4 empty needles, and some random bits of powder. The room was a complete mess, and it looked like at some point someone had a temper tantrum and destroyed it.

But that's not what sent Mimi to her knees. It was the person in the bed.

The person was completely knocked out, and it looked like he wasn't going to be up for awhile. The person still had a needle in his arm from when he last shot up, and it looked like he didn't bother to take it out. His dirty blond hair was a mess, and he had a small beard growing. He was pale, unbelievably skinny, and had purple shadows under his eyes.

This person wasn't breathing.

"ROGER!!" Mimi screeched, and ran over to the bed, ignoring all the beer bottles. "Please babe, wake up!" Mimi cried, and went to place her hand on his cheek. The funny thing was, she couldn't. Instead, her hand went right through his cheek. Mimi gasped, and backed away.

"What-What-Wha-"Mimi stuttered, staring at her ex-boyfriend **(A/N Remember, before Angel's death, he broke up with her, so yes, they're actually ex's)**.

"Meems, this is Roger after your death." Angel whispered, with a couple of tears running down her face. Sure, this hasn't happened to him yet, but it hurt Angel anyway.

"N-No...it c-can't b-be. N-N-No way." Mimi whispered, shaking her head. She tried to look away from Roger's still form, but she found she couldn't. It was impossible. She couldn't believe that this corpse, this man, was _Roger_. Roger's so much stronger then her. There was no way he'd give up his life just like _that_ because Mimi died. The others wouldn't let him, couldn't let him-

"It is, baby. If you don't go back, than this is your lover's fate." Angel whispered. "But, but, but...wait, I have a choice?" Mimi asked, forgetting Roger for a second and looking up at her best friend.

Angel smiled at her. "Oops, stupid me. I forgot. You see, chica, you get a choice when you come up here, well; you get a choice when you die young. You either get to stay up here and wait for your loved ones, or you get to live again. Out of the two choices though, I want you to pick to go back." Angel whispered, still looking at the corpse sorrowfully.

Mimi looked on at the corpse, feeling torn. She wanted to stay with Angel more than she could bear, but she didn't want Roger, _her_ Roger, to die like this. Alone, with no dignity, and a loser **(A/N don't kill me!! he's a loser because he lost the war with drugs, not because he's a **_**loser**_**)**. He's way too good for that.

"N-No, it can't be h-_him_. I mean, he got over April, right? So he can get over me." Mimi said with a shaky voice. She was truly shaken up by Roger's appearance. She always thought that he was the strongest person out of the whole group, and he could get through anything. That's why she denied it being him.

"Babe, it's him. Please stop denying it. It is. This is what will happen, chica." Now Mimi couldn't stop the tears down her cheeks. She fell to the floor and sobbed and sobbed in what felt like forever. He couldn't, just _couldn't_ die like that. He's supposed to become a rock star, become famous. He's supposed to become rich, and...He's supposed to love Mimi for the rest of her life and his.

"Chica, please stop crying. This doesn't have to happen. You can go back, and _make sure_ it doesn't happen." Angel whispered, kneeling beside her best friend. Angel comforted Mimi by stroking her hair and putting Mimi's head in her lap.

Mimi's tears stopped than, maybe because of Angel, or maybe because of the fact she could stop Roger's death. She sat up, and looked at Angel in the eyes.

"Angel, how about the others? What would happen to them, after Roger's death and mine?" The question caught Angel off guard. She hadn't expected that at all. She expected Mimi to beg her to go back, or something along those lines. Angel hesitated before telling her. She was afraid it'd send Mimi back into hysterics.

"After that, 3 major things would happen; Joanne would leave the group forever, Mark would become even more detached from the world, and Collins would..." Angel didn't have to finish, because Angel's watering eyes told Mimi what would've happened. _He'd die._ Mimi thought sadly, trying to hold in her own tears for Angel's sake. "How about Mo? And Benny?" Mimi asked. "You don't need to know what happens to them. All you need to know is our little family would become broken forever." Angel whispered, a single tear going down her face.

Mimi was shocked. She couldn't believe that two deaths can change to course of a whole group of friends. That and Angel was crying. Angel _never_ cried. She was the strong one, the person who cleans up after everyone after _they_ break down. So Mimi now knew how serious this was.

"Angel, get me out of here." Mimi whimpered, looking over at Roger one more time. She felt her heart break a little at the sight. "Okay chica, close your eyes." Angel whispered, and Mimi closed her eyes willingly.

~~~~~::~~~~~

When she opened them again, she was in the white mist again. Mimi was standing up now, and so was Angel. Angel had a sad look on her face. _Maybe she really does want me to go back._ Mimi pondered, looking at her best friend.

"Ang, what will happen if I do go back?" Mimi asked, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. Angel's face instantly lit up. Yep, she definitely wanted Mimi to go back.

"Well, baby, there are many things that could happen, but I know of two things for sure; Roger will live longer with you by his side, and our little family will grow stronger." She said, and she smiled when she got to 'our little family'. Angel was smiling so widely that Mimi had to smile back.

_Maybe I do belong back there._ Mimi thought, looking at her friend. Mimi looked at her friend with tears coming to her eyes yet again. "Well then, there is only one problem left." Mimi whispered her voice cracking.

"What is it?" Angel asked, frowning. "How much I'm going to miss you." Mimi sobbed, and she ran over to her friend. Angel enveloped her in a hug, and both girls cried together. Because truly, as long as they were apart, they'd miss each other. They cried for what felt like hours, until they had no tears left in them. But even then they couldn't pull away.

"Angel, I'm going to miss you so much. Promise to watch over me." Mimi whispered, burying her head in Angel's chest. "Of course baby, I always do." Angel whispered with a small smile. "I love you Angel." Mimi mumbled, pulling away from her best friend. "I love you too chica. Be good okay?" Angel whispered, putting a lone strand of wavy brown hair behind Mimi's ear.

"I will...goodbye." Mimi whispered, giving Angel a kiss on the cheek. "Bye, baby. It's time to turn around girlfriend, and listen to that boy's song." Angel said with a smile, and before Mimi knew it, everything turned black again.

**The next chapter is the last people! Hope you enjoyed this one! Please, I want some more reviews!! I want at least one review before the next chapter please.**

**-Ash**


	8. NO DAY BUT TODAY!

**Second to last chapter! Enjoy!**

**BTW, this was my favourite chapter to write because:**

**This is one of my favourite songs in the whole play**

**It's so much happier than the rest!**

**I GOT TO WATCH THE MOVIE TO WRITE THIS PART!! **

**Just wanted to say!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own RENT**_

Roger laid his head down on Mimi's stomach. She's gone, she's really gone. His sobs could be heard throughout the loft. _No, no...It can't be. She can't be _gone... he thought over and over again. He couldn't have lost another person he loved. It's impossible. He lost April, he couldn't lose Mimi...

But she wasn't breathing. She was gone.

_No, no, no, no!_

He started to sob harder as reality crept in. She's dead. Her HIV and the drugs killed her. He would never see life or love in her eyes again, he would never see a sparkle in them when she laughed or smiled. He'll never see her dance just for him, or hear her singing to him. She'll never ask him to light her candle, or take her out. She'll never hold him in her skinny arms or talk to him about nothing.

_She's gone..._

The others looked on with tears in their eyes. They couldn't believe their friend was really gone. All that time they took trying to find her and all that praying that she'd survive had been in vain. They were all equally heartbroken, and they all sobbed together.

Mimi was gone...

A sudden gasp filled the room. All heads turned towards the noise. Roger eyes widened as Mimi's eyes opened, and she sat up quickly. Mimi's crazed eyes looked around the room, looking shocked. She was here...She was here before. Roger was singing his song...but she blacked out. Where did she go...?

"_I will...goodbye." Mimi whispered, giving Angel a kiss on the cheek. "Bye, baby. It's time to turn around girlfriend, and listen to that boy's song." Angel said with a smile, and before Mimi knew it, everything turned black again._

Mimi smiled. She remembered now. She saw Angel...she was with her for awhile, but she seemed to forget what she happened with Angel before she told her to turn around...

_Don't try to remember. Look at your boy._

Mimi looked at Roger, and he had tears going down his face, but he looked unbelievably happy. Mimi looked around her, and saw her friends just a little bit away, with smiles on their faces. She smiled back, and then began to speak.

"I was in a tunnel, heading for this warm, white light-"

"Oh my God!" Mo cried, grabbing Jo's arm. Mimi giggled at her. That's Mo for yah. "And I swear, Angel was there!" Mimi cried, turning to Collins. He smiled, and looked like he was going to cry. Out of happiness because Mimi was back or out of sadness because Angel was gone Mimi didn't know. "And she looked _good_!" Mimi said with a grin. Collins laughed, and Roger smiled at Mimi.

Roger couldn't believe she was back. She was back. He could love her, be with her, forget about the time they spent apart and focus on being back together. Roger could sing his song for her again, and again, and again...She could hear any other songs he wrote because of her...they could have a future. Roger had to hold back a laugh he was so happy.

Mimi now turned to Roger and whispered, "And she said _'Turn around, girlfriend, and listen to that boy's song....'_" Roger couldn't keep back a laugh now. Looks like Angel was watching over them after all.

"She's drenched." Collins then said, pulling his leather jacket off of Mimi. "Her fever's breaking." Mo said happily, tears going down her own face.

"_There is no future -  
There is no past..."_ Mark sang, looking at them all. They all turned to look him with a smile. Roger grinned, and added,

"_Thank God  
This moment's not the last."_ He grabbed Mimi's clammy hand, and held onto it tightly. Mimi smiled at him, and began to sing with him.

"_There's only us  
There's only this  
Forget regret  
Or life is yours to miss-"_Mimi and Roger sang, staring at each other. They both smiled, because last time she sang this Roger was disagreeing with her about this. But now, they both believed it.

"_No other road no other way  
No day but today!"_ the group snag together, looking at each other. Mark then quickly ran over to his projector, and turned it on. On the screen it read, "Today 4 U: Proof Positive", and then memories started to play on the screen. Everyone was in this reel, even Benny.

Collins then put his head on Mimi's lap, and Mimi gently touched his head, as they the girls started to sing.

"_I can't control  
My destiny  
I trust my soul  
My only goal  
Is just to be-"_

At the same time, the men began to sing,

"_Will I lose my dignity  
Will someone care  
Will I wake tomorrow  
From this nightmare!"_

They all gathered together, watching the screen with happiness, sadness, and love. Mimi held Roger happily, Jo and Mo held each other happily, and Mark and Collins put their arms on each other's shoulders.

"_Without you  
The hand gropes  
The ear hears  
The pulse beats  
Life goes on  
But I'm gone  
'Cause I die  
Without you  
I die without you  
I die without you  
No day but today  
I die without you-"_the women sang together. By the time they got 'I die without you', they looked at their lovers with affection in their eyes. At the same time as the girls, the men started to sing,

"_There's only now  
There's only here  
Give in to love  
Or live in fear  
No other path  
No other way  
No day but today  
No day but today  
No day but today  
No day but today-"_The men looked happily at the screen.

Then, they all looked at each other with grins, and together they sang in perfect harmony-

"_NO DAY BUT TODAY!"_

It was at that moment; Angel appeared on the screen with a grin on her face.


	9. Epilogue: 3 years later

**This is the last chapter. I'm sorry, but I need closure, so here it is. This is 3 years after that night. Enjoy!**

"Hurry up, Mo! We're going to start the video without you!" Mimi called. The whole group was at the loft today, because today was October 31...the anniversary of Angel's death. They decided that in honour of the 3 year anniversary of her death, they'd watch "Today 4 U: Proof Positive". The new and improved "Today 4 U: Proof Positive"

"Coming!" Mo cried, and ran into the room. In her hands and on a tray were drinks: 5 beers, and two orange juices. Now why would she have orange juice do you think?

"Mommy! Can I have my orange juice!" little Maria cried, sitting beside her other mother, Jo. That's right; for MoJo's 2 year anniversary, they decided they'd adopt a cute little 3 year old Latina girl. It was a strange coincidence that her name was the same as Mimi's. The moment Maria came into their lives, Mo and Jo became closer, and thankfully stopped breaking up every 2 minutes. Maria changed their lives more than they could know.

But Maria wasn't the only new thing.

"Thanks, Mo!" Mimi cried, trying to sitting up. It was hard though, because her swollen belly got in the way. She wasn't allowed to drink beer, since Roger refused to allow it. Plus, it was probably unhealthy for the baby.

Little Angel Musetta Davis-Marquez.

It didn't really matter if it was a boy or girl. Mimi had to name her/him after her fallen friend. It was only fair to Angel's memory. Collins was thrilled that they were naming her/him after Angel, and Roger insisted that Musetta be the second name. Mimi reluctantly agreed, since she wanted to call the baby Angel.

Mo passed out the beers, kept one for her, and plopped down on the mattress on the floor. The couch had become crowded, so they decided that Mark's mattress was the only option.

As you can imagine, Mark wasn't thrilled. Mark was by the projector; just waiting for everyone to sit and relax so he could start the video. When everyone was ready and staring at him, Mark pressed the button to start it, and the title came on.

Throughout the video, many tears were spread (mostly by Mimi...hormones), many laughs (Little Maria was very interested to watch her Mommy asking everyone to Moo with her), and much love (whenever Angel went on the screen, everyone just stopped and smiled). There were many memories shared, and it was truly a picture perfect moment.

Even Collins was joining in the fun. These days, Collins taught everywhere, and the group didn't see him as much as they used to. All that mattered though was he was there for Christmases, birthdays, and whenever they needed him. Sometimes, he even took time out of his busy life to hang out with his group. He'd go to the Life cafe with Mark, or laugh with Mimi on the fire escape. Even though he was gone a lot, he was still there or them.

Mark was offered many jobs, but he turned many down before finding the perfect one. His job was to host documentaries for Real Life T.V. **(A/N not a real channel by the way)**. There he met his current girlfriend, Amy. She was instantly taken in by the Bohemians, and was loved by everyone in the group.

When Benny came on the screen, Mimi, Mo, and/or Roger usually threw popcorn at the screen, earning a glare from Mark. But they couldn't help it. Benny was still yuppie scum. But they didn't see a lot of him, especially in the past 3 years. They only heard from him in calls, and sometimes Mark saw him downtown when he was filming. But that's it. After they found Mimi, Benny knew to stay away, and the group was thankful he did.

Towards the end of the film, they started seeing more updated images; like Mimi showing of her first pay check from the_ Life_ (she quit the Cat Scratch club), Roger playing with his new band at a popular bar, Mo and Jo holding up their new daughter (Maria was so excited that she was in the film too), Mark making out with Amy, and Mimi showing off her ever growing belly.

Then, before they knew it video started to end. They knew because they saw Angel spinning in her Santa wear. So together, everyone sang,

"No day but today!"

And just like that very special night, Angel's grinning face was the last thing they saw before the video ended.

**The End!**

**Remember, NO DAY BUT TODAY!!**

**Rent 3**

**(P.S. I'm thinking of making a story based on this. Like, talking about their life more, and in chapters instead of this small epilogue. PLEASE tell me what you think of this idea people! I like people's opinions!)**


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